Happy birthday, America!

Dear Motherland,

On this, your 235th birthday, I would like to write you a special note declaring my true feelings for you.

While I have not always appreciated your good qualities, and indeed have often felt disdain for your short-comings, my stint on the great continent of Africa has given me ample time to reflect on those parts of you which I long for most, and miss the least. 

Sometimes, I find myself daydreaming about your green mountains and their rolling hills.  I miss the picturesque river valleys and deep river gorges and the siren song of their cliffs rising on either side.

I love your East Coast seasons.  The bitter cold, snow white winters and the joy of finding ways to stay warm; the warm springs, with their smell of thawing earth, renewed life poking out of the ground, from the trees; the hot summers, with their intolerable days (ok, I don't miss those, you're right) and perfect nights made for porch-sitting; and maybe best of all, your autumns, with their crisp days, brilliant colors, and chilly nights perfect for sleeping.

America, I long for your beer.  I love the pale ales, the full-bodied lagers, the dark stouts and all of the brews that fall in between.  I enjoy the proliferation of microbreweries throughout your lands.  I am most excited about being able to sit in a safe bar or pub, with a cold, sweating pint in front of me, with friends of any race/gender/sexual persuasion, without fearing a bar fight.

Thank you for opening your ports to the droves of immigrants which made you the melting pot that you are today.  I appreciate the opportunities that you have afforded me in learning about other cultures without having to leave your borders.  I also heartily appreciate the diversity of multicultural cuisine available in most of your big cities.

Truth be told, I despise your many factory farms and the damage to the environment and our society that they cause.  I am lucky to live now in a place without such places.  However, I do enjoy the many varieties of cruelty-free food that you offer to me and those who share my view of food.  I really look forward to perusing once again food markets with entire sections devoted to the art of tofu, soy and nut cheeses and animal-free pork, beef, and chicken.  The thought of returning to your early morning farmers markets makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

I waver between enjoying all your amenities and being repulsed by the excess displayed all over you.

I shake my head from afar at the state of your medical system.  HMOs, insurance companies, drug companies, corruption, healthcare reform – it’s all rather overwhelming.  But in spite of all your shortcomings, I am glad that you have available life saving drugs and procedures to those in need.

I could go on about this love/hate relationship we have.  I won’t, though. 

Happy birthday, America! I miss you.