The Namibia Amplification

Tis the season for me to be bitter than I'm in the southern hemisphere, on the edge of the Kalahari, in a place where temperatures are easily reaching above 95 everyday... in the shade,  while people on the East Coast are basking in glorious autumn weather.  Things I miss about the east coast in autumn: apple cider, pumpkins and root vegetables, chilly mornings and cool afternoons, the changing leaves, climbing on cool rock amid the changing leaves….   

I’m calling this blog “the Namibia Amplification” because Namibia seems to act as an amplification agent for every emotion I experience these days.  Even the most mundane emotions seem huge some days.  For me, loneliness, anger, frustration, and happiness tend to be the emotions amplified the most.  If I’m angry or frustrated about one thing, I find 100 other things to be angry and/or frustrated about.  And while this is often true of most people, for whatever reason, here it seems to be 100 times worse.  Some days are just lonely days, no matter how surrounded by people I may be, I feel completely isolated and alone.  It helps to SMS other volunteers or talk to people from home, but some days nothing helps. 

Yesterday was one of those super lonely days when nothing helps – not talking about it, not writing about it.  The one funny thing that happened to me yesterday: I became the butt of a “How many PCVs does it take to change a lightbulb” joke.  There are 2 kinds of light bulbs here: the kind like we have in the states that screw in, and another kind called “bayonette” style bulbs that have just 2 prongs on the part of the bulb that fits into the socket. I’d yet to figure out how to change these pesky “bayonette” style bulbs (you can’t just unscrew them…  whose bright idea was THAT?) until I was balanced precariously on the tank of my toilet and toilet paper holder trying to work it out. And THEN I figured out that you have to PUSH and then TURN.

The flip side is that sometimes every bit of a day is good.  And every action by others toward me is amplified 100 times and makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.  My learners behave in an adequately Grade 6 manner, and say nice things to me like, “Ah, miss is looking so beautiful today,” or they get the right answer during class, or they show me that I’ve taught them SOMETHING (bc on those other days, I often feel like I’ve taught them NOTHING).   Lately my grade 6 has been really catching onto verb conjugation, like using the past tense when appropriate (“Miss, this one stole my pen!” and “The electricity shocked me” are the2 that stand out in my head right now.) On their way out of the classroom, they tell me to have a nice afternoon and low-five or high-five me.  The joy of riding my bike home from school in the afternoon is increased 100-fold by the myriad of children yelling “hello!” at me.  Some of them even call me Miss Nikki, even though they aren’t students at my school….

Today was a day when Namibia really pulled at my heartstrings.  I had a pretty good day at school (aside from marking workbooks in which some learners hadn’t even bothered to so the assignments), and then came home and ate a ginormous bowl of beets and cabbage and carrots and avocado.  I had a nice meeting with the director of Omaheke Ministry of Education (she’s a really nice lady), and then took a walk to town in search of more avocados (in preparation of a weekend in Windhoek and Swakop).  I ran into my friend Lydia and her son Vija, who’s super rockin’ it in English these days.  He walked with me the whole length of town (of course in his barefeet) and we talked the whole time.  SO funny to watch people’s reactions to a white lady having teachable moments with a small black child.  And pretty uplifting for me to spend some time with a clever little kid who speaks 3 languages.

On days like today, it takes a lot to get me  down.  And sometimes it’s important to share that things are not always amplified in a bad way.

Also, I posted some pictures of my house on facebook! You can see them here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2100078&id=39904769&l=9d655b80bc

Wherever you are, I hope you’re having a great day.  I have another post in the works, so check back soon.

Thanks for reading!